The Art of Giving up your Seat

Giving up your seat on a train or bus is an art. Just when you think you're doing a kind act, the elderly person (or who you thought was elderly) huffs and refuses: "I'm not that old." You offer your seat to a pregnant woman, but it turns out she's not pregnant at all. Ouch. Or you try to give it to someone, only to have it snatched by another person you didn't intend. How do you even decide who's more "worthy" than you? If you overthink it, you might end up not sitting at all.

The art is on the receiving side too. Why feel insulted when someone offers you a seat, suddenly feeling "old"? Why get irritated if it's taken by someone else, thinking you deserve it more? When offered a seat, be graceful and accept politely—no fuss. And when offering, do it the same way: say you're getting off anyway, and walk away. Don't hover next to the seat; that just makes everyone uncomfortable.

My partner likes to say, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." True 思いやり (omoiyari) should bring comfort and joy, not awkwardness.